They can have ours

One of the weirder aspects of the Scottish Nationalist Parties attempts to remove itself from the UK has been its insistence on handing over its independence to the EU. Still it must have been a bit disappointing to them to learn that if they do gain independence they'll have to apply to join the EU, rather than still be an accepted member.
Express.

IF Scotland were to gain independence it would have to apply again for EU membership, a European Commission spokesman said. EC spokesman Olivier Baiily and President Jose Manuel Barroso have said that any potential new member would have to request accession from outside the EU.
Today, EC spokesman Olivier Bailly told BBC Radio Scotland that there are two steps.
"There is a secession process under international law, and the request for accession to EU member state under EU treaties.
"In the mean time, of course, this new treaty is not part of the EU since it has to make a request for accession."
But SNP government minister, Keith Brown denied that an independent Scotland would have to apply for entry.
Mr Brown said: "It's simply our position, as it always has been, that Scotland will accede to the EU simply because we take on the same obligations and treaties that we currently have.

Well, first off, Scotland as such doesn't have any obligations or treaties with the EU, those are the remit of the UK government in Westminster, I suspect Mr Brown must know this, though it makes a good soundbite. Should Scotland however leave the UK, then it is not part of the EU, whereas the UK would be (more's the pity)
Still, there is a solution, a fairly simple one at that. Were Scotland to take possession of the UK's treaty of Rome, then they would remain in the EU and the rest of us would have to approve a Westminster governments attempts to take us back into the EU vis a referendum.
They get all the benefits of being in the EU, we get all the benefits of not having to pay for the EU.
Win, win.

Note, this article should be seen as entirely tongue in cheek...