On my wish list

One of the disadvantages of growing old is that sooner or (preferably) later you become a bit frail and can't get about so well. That shouldn't however preclude you enjoying yourself...

Mail. (Don't worry it isn't a rant)

It might look like your standard mobility scooter, designed to help the elderly and the infirm do their shopping.

But this particular version has had rather a substantial upgrade.

Plumber Colin Furze, 31, spent nearly three months converting the machine so that it now whizzes along at an incredible 69mph - making it the world's fastest mobility scooter.

It has a powerful 125cc motorbike engine hidden under the seat, five gears and twin exhausts.

Colin Furze tears along a country lane in his mobility scooter. He hopes to one day hit 70mph

The petrol-powered super scooter, which is British racing green, can almost reach the national speed limit and keep up with cars on the motorway.

It does 10 miles to the gallon and is nearly NINE times faster than an average mobility scooter which glides along at just 8mph.

Now at least I know what to do if I ever need such a device, particularly as it's my stated aim to grow old disgracefully. Just need to add a couple of scythes to the wheels and I'd be all set for frightening the shoppers in Asda.